Generosity Enlivens

Generosity is the last of the three characteristics that are important to nurture and encourage in an Island of Sanity. For what are kindness and creativity if one is not generous with them? And what will our lives become if we do not give of all we have?

As Margaret Wheatley says, generosity “is a willingness to extend ourselves or offer something we value to others.” An important part of generosity is that it does not give begrudgingly and expects nothing in return. Generosity comes from the heart, without the need for recognition, appreciation or accolades.

Buddhist teacher and writer, Jack Kornfield reminds us that “We all have, without exception, a very deep longing to give – to give to the earth, to give to others, to give to the society, to work, to love, to care for this earth… And so there’s tremendous sorrow for a human being who doesn’t find a way to give. One of the worst of human sufferings is not to find a way to love, or a place to work and give of your heart and your being.”

Proverbs 11:24-25 describes the paradox of generosity:

One person gives generously, yet grows wealthier, another is stingy, yet only grows poorer.
The generous person will flourish, and the one who refreshes others will be refreshed.

Let me take a moment to dispel the myth that generosity is only about money. We can be generous with so many other intangible things that are often more important: time, talent, energy, skills, love, something you’ve made or grown, compassion, support, care.

John Sanford, in his book The Kingdom Within, tells a story of when he was a boy. Every summer his family spent in an old 150-year-old farmhouse in New Hampshire that had never been modernized. His dad was an Episcopal priest, so they didn’t have much money and lived those summers without electricity or indoor plumbing. Right outside the front door was a well that supplied them with all the water they needed.

Eventually they were able to modernize, put in electricity, modern plumbing and running water. This required a modern well, so a deep artesian well was drilled a short distance from the house and the old well was covered over.

One day a few years later, out of sheer curiosity, John opened up the old well expecting to see the same dark, cool depths that had provided the family with water for all those years but he found it bone dry instead. After some inquiries, he discovered that that kind of well “was fed by hundreds of tiny underground rivulets along which seep a constant supply of water. As water is drawn from the well, more water moves into it along the rivulets, keeping these tiny apertures clear and open. But when such a well is not used and the water is not regularly drawn, the tiny rivulets close up.” The well didn’t really run out of water, it dried up because it wasn’t used.

We all have a beautiful spiritual light within us, but perhaps the brightness of our light dims when we don’t give of what we have to offer. Perhaps giving of ourselves is what keeps us emotionally and spiritually healthy, keeps light, positivity and generosity flowing out of us.

As we draw closer to Christmas, it reminds me of The Christmas Carol and the story of Mr. Scrooge. He was a miser who had more money than anyone in town, but so much less to show for it. He was cynical, grouchy, a slave-driver, had no friends, and cared about nothing except his business and how much money he had. As mean as he was, it is hard not to pity him somewhat for living a lonely, miserable life.

In contrast, of course, there was Bob Cratchit who worked for Mr. Scrooge. Bob had lots of kids and they were all barely surviving on the pittance that Scrooge paid him. Yet, he was filled with joy. Why? Because what he had to give wasn’t limited to money and stuff. His soul was filled with love, joy, hope, compassion, kindness, and caring that he gave of generously… even to Mr. Scrooge.

It took visitations from three ghosts to knock some sense into Scrooge, to break open his stingy, shriveled heart. The story of the Grinch is much the same.

Three weeks ago when we talked about kindness, each person in the community was invited to draw two slips paper out of a bag with “kind” things on them to do as homework. Erv drew a slip that said, “give an anonymous gift to someone.’ He pondered this for a while. Now, he doesn’t mind giving people things, but had a hard time figuring out who to give it to. Then he thought of Kaylee, a young woman, 16-years-old, who loves to musky fish, and works part-time at the sports store up in Boulder Junction where Erv works as a fishing guide every summer. He was talking to her after Halloween and asking her if she went out trick-or-treating (even though he figured she was too old). Turns out she went out trick-or-treating for canned goods for the food pantry. And she also told him she made the honor society. Here’s someone working to make herself better, giving of herself to help others… what could he do for her?

So, Erv called his friend at the Chamber of Commerce and said, “Do you trust me for $50?” Then he asked her to get $50 in Boulder Bucks – funny money that can be spent in any business in Boulder – put it in an envelope, write Kaylee on the envelope, take it to the sport shop and they’ll make sure she gets it. Kaylee is still trying to figure out who sent it! He said it made him feel really good to give, and especially to give to this young woman who worked so hard and really deserved it.

Generosity enlivens us, refreshes us and makes us feel richer for the experience. It wasn’t long ago that I took my dad to the hospital for an MRI. As I was checking him in, the woman behind the desk commented on the really cool funky cloth bag I had over my shoulder that carried my reading material for the waiting room. I thanked her and agreed with her – it is a cool bag. Then I thought about that interaction for the next half hour while I waited and quietly plotted to give her the bag on my way out. Just because it felt good. And heaven knows that people working in health care are underappreciated these days. So, on the way out I parked my dad in his wheelchair for a few seconds and walked over and gave her the bag. It lifted my soul. Yes, generosity enlivens.

Another time, about a month ago, I was walking the dog and as I went past one driveway a woman who was loading up her car stopped me and offered Stitch a bag of homemade dog treats. She said she was off to an event to help rescue dogs get adopted and she had made too many treat bags. Before I knew it, she had given me about five more bags of treats. Being on the receiving end enlivens, too!

We’ve named many ways to be generous, but I want to add one more: being generous in our assumptions. We’re quick to pigeonhole people these days and lump each other into “good” and “bad” categories. I struggle, too. I think it is a knee-jerk survival reaction. But rarely does being different make someone all “good” or all “bad” nor can any of us be judged based on a cursory glance or a passing meeting.

May we watch for ways we can be generous with all we have and all we are, thus being refreshed and refreshing others, and experiencing true wealth.

Love & Light!

Kaye