Crossroads on the Journey

When I hear the word crossroads the first thing that comes to mind is the old legend about making a deal with the devil at the crossroads. Anyone remember the movie Crossroads with Ralph Macchio (better known as the Karate Kid)? It’s about an old blues man named Willie Brown who once made a deal with the devil, sold his soul for fame and fortune. Eventually Macchio makes his own deal, if he wins a guitar standoff, the devil will tear up Willie’s contract, if he loses, the devil gets Macchio’s soul, too.

I don't believe in the devil, but I do believe that sometimes the decisions we make cause us to lose our very selves, compromise our integrity, our health, our livelihoods, our sanity, our relationships and family.

My first appointment as a United Methodist pastor turned out to be a tough appointment for a young, idealistic newbie pastor. I remember being in tears when I interviewed for the job with the lead pastor because my heart and soul were so ready to be in ministry. Looking back, I think I got the appointment because he thought he could mold and shape me. I’m made of tougher (or more stubborn) stuff.  To begin, he was wildly conservative and I found myself preaching the opposite of what he’d preach. And then there were things he said and did that were unconscionable to me. From where I stood, they were spiritually abusive. It was killing my soul.

After five years there, I found myself at a crossroads. Should I stay or go? There were reasons to stay. I loved many of the people, I was a ¾ time appointment (which meant full-time in the church, but still better for a young family), I had three kids 9 and under who were in a great day care, and we were close to Northbrook where my husband worked. We had no clue where we’d end up if I asked for a different appointment. It could be worse! I could end up with three little churches in nowheresville Wisconsin, far from anywhere my husband could find an engineering job.

One day I met with a mentor of mine and she said to me, let me ask you three questions, "One, have you learned all you can learn at this appointment? Two, is there anything you can do to change the situation? And, three, what is it doing to your soul?"

The choice was clear. I left.

Now, many daily crossroad decisions are easy. But often, as adults, the choices become very complex and complicated. And sometimes they are soul-crushing decisions. Here are a few things that make a decision difficult and complicated.

• When we’re worried about money and security
• When an outcome isn’t certain
• When a relationship might be affected
• When it affects your children
• When there is no going back
• When it is life and death

I think one of the hardest things about many decisions is the uncertainty. If we could only know exactly how something is going to turn out, the choice would be easier. But we don’t. We know we need to make a turn, but we can’t see far down the road.

Thomas Merton once advised a young activist, “Do not depend on the hope of results… you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.” 

We can’t always know where our choices will lead us and so we need to focus on the value of what we’re doing, the rightness of what we’re doing, the truth of what we’re doing. Then no matter what, we’ll know that we made the right decision.

Jeremiah 6:16a says, “Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask about the ancient paths. Ask what the good way is, and walk that way. Then you will find peace within yourselves.”

The ancient paths are our history, and the wisdom and experience we've gained in life. To remember the ancient paths is to remember that we've been through tough decisions before and made it, and the Divine was with us all the way. When we think of these things and ask which is the best way, we'll know. Peace comes not from the end result, but from making a good choice.

Jack Kornfield, through the teachings of the master Don Juan, reminds us to look for the path with heart. If it has no heart, he says, then it is no good. What does that mean? We’re a culture that wants analysis and a spreadsheet and projections and assurances and scientific proof, not that any of those things are bad, but there is more to consider especially when the decision is complicated. 

A path with heart is one that is not about money, power or accomplishments. It is a path that is in line with one's intuition, one's passion and one's highest good. 

Kornfield, in The Wise Heart, tells this story of a path that had no heart…

In one family I know parents with “good Christian intentions” cut their daughter off without any support because she deliberately had a child – their grandchild – without a husband. Unfortunately, the intentions of the parents were more in line with strict Old Testament punishment than with Jesus’ insistent love for the outcast, the sinner, and the poor. Their “good” intentions contained delusion about love, anger, and a self-centered grasping for control of their daughter. The suffering that resulted has gone on for years. 

Here's a story of a path with heart...

Rev. Otis Moss III was pastor of Trinity United Church in Chicago when one of its parishioners, Senator Barack Obama, was running for president. The media had gotten their hands on the sermons of his predecessor, Jeremiah Wright, and found a few words that they took out of context to try to compromise and defame Senator Obama. All of the negative media attention resulted in at least a hundred threats a week: we’re going to kill you. And then they received a most unwelcome visit by the Westboro Baptist Church (fundamentalist extremists) who were hoping to draw attention to their “supposedly righteous cause: the idea that America is wallowing in depravity and doomed to damnation.”

Rev. Moss found himself at a crossroads without a map. What does one do when one’s church and parishioners have been hounded by the media, deluged with death threats, and yet still they showed up to worship, pray, sing and support one another every Sunday. Mothers and grandmothers tried to shield children as they moved through posters of outrageous claims about abortion and their church, and shouts of vile racist epithets. Moss was furious, as he knew others would be. This was the south side of Chicago, where he said not all were won over by Dr. King’s method of non-violence. And if it degraded into violence, the media would have a field day.

And then he found the path with heart. He ran into the church and found the choir in their robes ready to process into the sanctuary. He gathered them together and said, “This is what I need for you to do. Muster up the kind of faith our ancestors had. We are going to march outside and surround the protesters, but we are not going to touch them. We are going to sing to the glory of God so loudly that our voices, the voices of love, are going to drown out the shouts of hate.”

One hundred strong, they went out and surrounded the Westboro people and sang with all their strength and determination “This Little Light of Mine.” Moss said, “try to imagine a sixty-eight-year-old grandmother, all of five foot four, getting in the face of a menacing, rather stout six-three gentleman from Kansas, clapping and singing with all her power as the protester tries to gather his composure.”

Then he instructed the deacons of the church to invite the protestors to join them in prayer, but they declined. Nonetheless, the deacons joined hands and began to surround the protesters with prayer, deep soulful prayer. The protesters climbed back into their vans and drove away.

Sometimes we know when we’re approaching a crossroads, and sometimes we find ourselves there suddenly. Pause, remember, reflect and seek the path with heart. It may not be easy, and there may be more decisions to be made with heart before we get there, but I trust it will lead our souls to a place of peace.

Love & Light!

Kaye