Saying "Yes to Vulnerability

In our continuing series on Finding God, it's time to discuss finding God through saying "yes" to vulnerability. Let me begin in what may seem like an odd way, by discussing the difference between the soul and the ego.

The characteristics of the ego include things like this: judgmental, self-centered, prideful, stubborn, must be right and better than, concerned with survival and self-preservation, arrogance, anger, blame, avoidance, and a person's sense of self-importance or self-esteem. We know we are operating from our egos when we get triggered by things, when we refuse to take responsibility, when we create walls to protect ourselves. Consider that a brief overview.

The characteristics of the soul are a little harder to define, but it is described something like this: pure, love, eternal, transcendent, internal, light, unity, love, energy, source, peace, creativity, ethereal, higher consciousness, spark of the divine, limitless, benevolent.

Unless I’ve wasted the last 30 years of my life, I’m pretty sure that Jesus was focused on trying to get us out of our egos and into our souls. That is the spiritual path.

Research professor at the University of Houston, graduate college of Social Work, Brene’ Brown defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” The word vulnerability comes form the Latin word vulnerare which means “to wound.” Being vulnerable means “capable of being wounded.”

Clearly, the soul path is the more vulnerable way to live in this world.

Logically, to have a deeper connection with the Divine, we have to open ourselves to our souls, so we have to say "yes" to being vulnerable more often. Creating walls does not just keep others out, it keeps us from our authenticity, our True Selves, our Souls, and the divine within.

In the Matthew 13:13-16 Jesus has been asked why he speaks in parables and his response is fairly cryptic. Using an Isaiah quote, he essentially says, Look, most people have become hardened and calloused. Life is hard and unfair and all their energy goes into living. Most people are simply trying to survive and so they can’t see and hear what I’m trying to say, because in order for them to truly hear and see, they have to open their hearts. They have to allow themselves to trust and be vulnerable, to let the Divine in. It’s hard, but if they would do that I could help them heal… or to say it another way, I would bring them back to their true Selves.

I get that life is hard and scary. We don't like to be vulnerable because we don't want to get hurt, we don't want to be ridiculed or rejected. We're afraid of being blamed and shamed. We don't always know who we can trust. And our society seems to think that showing our emotions is a sign of weakness.

But, as relational beings, we need to be able to share our deepest thoughts and feelings and be affirmed by someone. This requires risking being vulnerable. When we cut ourselves off from our deepest Selves, it is detrimental to our emotional, spiritual and physical health.

Certainly, there are appropriate times/places to be vulnerable, and we need to be discerning about who we are vulnerable with, but saying "yes" to vulnerability is essential on the spiritual journey.

My Aunt Caryl lost her husband of 63 years about 8 months ago. They did everything together up until not too long before he died. They especially loved to travel and attend the symphony together. To her credit, she did not let his death stop her from continuing to do the things they loved. She took a six week cruise from Thailand, through Singapore and Indonesia to Australia at the end of last year… by herself. She was a little worried about being lonely, but two wonderful women from Australia adopted her and she had travelling companions for most of the trip.

Caryl also didn’t want to give up going to the symphony, so she got two season tickets and sent an email to her musical friends letting them know the dates and times of performances she had an extra ticket for and invited them to go with her.

I’m afraid that so many of us in the same situation might have chosen to sit at home instead. She risked being vulnerable in both of those situations.

This last weekend we watched a Netflix show, The Six Triple Eight, about the Black Women's Army Corp during World War II. It's an exceptional movie, based on a true story and eye-witness accounts. It documents the racism, prejudice, blatant harassment, disrespect and discrimination that unit faced. I was struck by the courage of their commanding officer, Captain Charity Adams, and the multiple times she went to her white, male superior to advocate for her women, for their competency, and their desire to be assigned a mission and serve their country. I was moved by her courage to demand respect, to claim her own dignity and worth no matter how many times she was squashed. Make no mistake, she was clearly vulnerable, open to being wounded, in these situations, but she persisted.

Vulnerability is not weak. Vulnerability is courageous.

I am appalled at all that is happening in our country right now to turn back the tide of diversity. It is our turn now. We must be willing in the days and weeks that come to say "yes" to vulnerability. To advocate for those who are oppressed and discriminated against. To stand up to the powers for justice and equality.

Sometimes vulnerability will lead us to places we'd rather not go, but the soul knows that when we speak for love, compassion and justice, we are touching the core of divinity within ourselves.

Love & Light!

Kaye

Back to Blogfeed