The Gift of Discernment

Discernment, in spirituality, is the ability to sense the presence of the divine in wisdom and/or guidance; to perceive intuitively, or spiritually, the answers, insight, or the best path forward. I believe Jesus offered the gift of discernment, perhaps not in an obvious way (but he never really did anything overtly), but through inference and example.

To cut to the chase (you’ll need to watch the video of the sermon here to get the full version), in Mark 8:12 Jesus says to the disciples, “Don’t you see or understand yet? Are your minds closed? Have you eyes that don’t see and ears that don’t hear?” In other words, to discern the presence of God, to see and hear signs, nudgings, find insight, or intuit a direction forward, we need to have open minds, to be aware, watch, and listen.

Walter Kania, in “Healthy Religion,” states, “A closed-mind has no entry way through which new information, new awareness, or new experiences might enter. A closed system destroys the opportunity for the experience of an expanded consciousness.”

Having an open mind means looking deeper than the surface of things to see what messages might be present for us. Having an open mind requires paying attention, practicing awareness, embracing new perspectives, listening without judging or forming a response while the other is still speaking. Having an open mind means being willing to listen to our hearts and the wisdom of others.

Let me talk about three ways discernment might happen: signs, awareness and making space.

Signs – Many people tell me that they do believe in signs, they have asked for them and/or have received them. Signs are most often normal everyday events (not skywriting or a text messages) in which we see something deeper. And I do believe that the divine, our inner wisdom, may speak to us through our interpretation of ordinary events. But we need to be careful our ego isn’t pretending to be God!

I have a friend who, years ago worked for Johnson Wax, and was offered a promotion to work in their Fishing Division (now the Outdoor Division). The day before she had to give her answer she went to church and the pastor’s sermon was on the story of the disciples who were out fishing and pulled in a huge net of fish. Then she looked up at the stained glass and there was another fish. And then she realized that even her sweater had a little fish on it. She took the job.

No one else noticed fish everywhere. It was through these ordinary events that she found her answer. Now, hopefully her decision also included trusting her gut instincts about the job, understanding the requirements of the job, and knowing her own abilities. But she was open and watching for answers.

Always be sure to examine your signs with your heart and mind, always taking a close look at your ego!

Awareness, paying attention - In discernment we are our own worst enemy. There are too many “shiny” things around us to distract us, and we are often loathe to slow down long enough to cultivate awareness of what our heart and soul is telling us, or to see beneath the surface of our lives.

Psychologist Robert Wicks, in his book “Spiritual Resilience,” tells a story about another psychologist whose life was out of control who came to see him for help. This man was like a person completely lost in the center of the city, desperately trying to find a route to his home in the suburbs but terribly stymied because he had a blindfold over his eyes. Wicks approached the problem by metaphorically explaining about the blindfold this man seemed to have on and tried to explain how they could make a plan to take it off. But instead of responding positively to the suggestion, his response was, “I don’t have the time to take off my blindfold; can’t you see I’m too busy trying to find my way home?”

Discernment requires taking the blindfold off! How will we cultivate awareness, pay attention to our deepest Selves, if we are blocked by too many distractions, baggage, and busyness.

Making Space for Listening – Theologian Paul Tillich once said, “The first duty of love is to listen.” That statement is valid with everyone – our kids, our parents, our friends, our partners – but it is perhaps most important with ourselves. To discern what is best in our lives means loving ourselves enough to listen to our hearts, to our deepest Selves, the place where the voice of the Divine is most clear.

To truly listen to Self means to risk being changed forever. It means to go deeper than the voice that says, “you are not good enough,” deeper than our pain and heartache, deeper than our fear or anger. It means to uncover the beautiful, unique self that is more than all that other stuff.

This is a secular example from Cal Newport’s book, Deep Work, about making space for discernment, but I think it works. Peter Shankman, entrepreneur, and social media pioneer is a popular speaker and spends much of his time flying. He eventually realized that thirty thousand feet was an ideal environment for him to focus. As he explained in a blog post, “Locked in a seat with nothing in front of me, nothing to distract me, nothing to see of my “Ooh! Shiny! DNA, I have nothing to do but be at one with my thoughts.” It was sometime after this realization that Shankman signed a book contract that gave him only two weeks to finish the entire manuscript. Meeting this deadline would require incredible concentration. To achieve this state, Shankman did something unconventional. He booked a round-trip business-class ticket to Tokyo. He wrote during the whole flight to Japan, drank an espresso in the business class lounge once he arrived in Japan, then turned around and flew back, once again writing the whole way – arriving back in the states only thirty hours after he first left with a completed manuscript now in hand. “The trip cost $4,000 and was worth every penny,” he explained.

On a regular basis, we need to make space to listen for the nudgings of the Divine, but if it is really important, perhaps we need to create that special space and time to open our hearts and minds and listen with love to ourselves.

We are surrounded and filled with the Love Energy of the Divine. May we open our minds, get our egos and life distractions out of the way, and make space to simply be present to the wisdom within and around us.

Lenten Blessings,

Kaye