Easter Continued... Now What?

In the Gospel of John, a gospel known for its mysticism and metaphor, its unique stories, and its sometimes significantly different versions of events, Peter is an interesting character. He wants to be all in, and yet by his actions he demonstrates over and over that he doesn’t quite get what Jesus wants the disciples to get. He sort of reminds me of the younger brother who follows his older brother around, wanting to do everything he does (and insisting he can), but he just isn't mature enough or big enough to do it all or understand it all.

Do you remember the story of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet the night that he is betrayed? It is a story unique to the Gospel of John. Jesus puts a towel around his waist and proceeds to wash and dry the feet of his followers. It is a concrete example of servant leadership, of not putting himself above the others. But Peter wants nothing to do with it. No way was he going to let Jesus wash his feet; Peter had Jesus up on a pedestal. But Jesus is clear, “if I don’t wash you, you will have no part with me.”

Jesus is saying, Peter, I really need you to understand this, this is important stuff. If you can’t open your heart to this kind of leadership, then there remains a barrier between us, then you keep seeing me as higher, better, different.

Peter responds enthusiastically, “Then, Rabbi, not only my feet, but my hands and my head as well!” I find myself rolling my eyes at Peter. Now he's just going overboard, and we’re left feeling like the lesson has somehow still eluded him.

Shortly after that, on the same night, Jesus is explaining to his followers that he is leaving them and that where he is going they can’t follow. Peter says, “Why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you?” And Jesus replies, “Lay down your life for me? The truth of the matter is, before the cock crows you will deny me three times!” And the story recorded in John tells us this came to pass.

Peter is also the one to draw a sword and cut off the ear of the High Priest’s attendant when they come to arrest Jesus. Jesus tells him to put his sword away asking, “Am I not to drink the cup that has been given me?” Nope, Peter still doesn’t understand Jesus, his leadership style, his connection to God, his integrity and his commitment to his path.

Two days after Jesus is crucified (during which, by the way, Peter is nowhere to be found), the disciples are looked in a room, afraid of the Jewish authorities. Jesus appears among them, offers them peace, says he has come to send them out into the world, just as he was sent, and then, with a breath, imparts the Holy Spirit upon them.

Apparently, it didn’t take, because even though scripture says Jesus returned to bring Thomas up to speed, and then performed many other signs in the presence of the disciples, the disciples still head back to their home in Galilee and don’t seem to know what to do with themselves.

What now? No one seems to have an answer. So, Peter falls back on their old life and decides to go fishing. Six of the disciples follow him, they spend the night fishing but catch nothing. This is when Jesus appears on the shore and tells them to cast their net to the other side and they haul in a huge load of fish. 

As they eat breakfast together, the author of John tells us that the disciples knew it was Jesus. Perhaps it came down to the shared meal, reminiscent of the feeding of the 5,000, of the meals with tax collectors and sinners, of times they shared a Sabbath meal, of their last meal together of broken bread and a shared cup. Yes! This is Jesus! Now Peter’s head and heart are finally caught up, he finally gets it, he’s on board, he knows Jesus in a deeply spiritual, intimate way.

It seems to me that Jesus spent the last years of his life already resurrected (if you will), in tune with a higher consciousness, and in that way of being he was compelled to help others, enlighten others, draw them beyond the bounds of regular religion, ego and the desire for power and prestige. But who would pick up his teachings and carry them forward? Who would talk the talk and walk the walk? Who would join him in resurrection, leaving the past behind and moving into a future that needs servant leaders?

It certainly seems that the spiritual experience of Jesus after his death propels his followers into a higher consciousness and compels them to take on the task of bringing a new understanding of God and the spiritual life to others.

After the meal on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus senses Peter’s transformation. It’s time to pass the torch, but first Jesus makes sure. Using Peter’s given name, Jesus asks, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Yes. Then feed my lambs.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Yes. Then tend my sheep.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Yes. Then feed my sheep.

The three-fold denial is reversed and the Peter who didn’t know what else to do other than to fall back on his old pattern of fishing, now has a direction, a mission. He now understands that what has been transformed within him must manifest outside of him to help give shape to the world.

How many times have we been in a position like Peter and asked ourselves, “Now what?” I’m done with college… now what? My kids have all left… now what? The divorce is final... now what? My partner or parent or child or best friend passed away... now what? Retirement has begun… now what?

Because the path ahead isn’t clear, because we’re grieving the ending of something, the desire is great to simply go back to the familiar, the old ways.

If we look for it, if we open our hearts to it, resurrection is available to all of us. It is a spiritual knowing that there is something more for us, a knowing that life is deeper and broader than we’re allowing ourselves to see. The scary part is that a resurrection experience demands move forward, not back. It means we’ve learned and grown, we’ve come into a higher consciousness, we know in our hearts and souls that the path leads us toward something new and as yet unknown. With higher consciousness comes opportunities and responsibilities. In the now what moments, what does our soul compel us to do? What brings us purpose and meaning and serves to better the world around us? Who comes to us and says feed and tend and love my sheep?

As John Shelby Spong wrote, “One cannot know the fullness of life until one can give one’s life away. One cannot know the essence of love until one can love another – not because another deserves love, but because another simply is. One cannot be all that one can be unless one frees others to be all that they can be... This is what resurrection is… This is what life in the spirit is all about.”

Love & Light!

Kaye