Blessed

We have all shared communion many times. It is a foundational ritual for the Christian religion. A remembrance of a final meal, a sharing of blessedness, a moment of grace and love. Sadly, for many Christian churches today it has become a sacrament that is required for salvation. And, to receive the sacrament in many denominations, one must proclaim one’s unworthiness to receive it in the first place.

I’m blaming the apostle Paul for this stipulation. Jesus clearly didn’t require a confession, nor did he chastise them for being unworthy sinners, before he broke and shared bread with them. He simply sat with his friends, blessed the bread, broke it and gave it to them. I get the feeling this was their own ritual, something they did often as it is also recorded in Mark 6 in the story of the feeding of the 5,000. Jesus blessed the loaves, broke them and gave them.

Those three action verbs contain a spiritual metaphor for understanding our lives: blessed, broken and given.

Today we begin with Blessed. It might not always feel like it, but we are blessed by the Divine. The ancient authors of Genesis 1 set the stage. Humans were created on the sixth day, and God saw that it was very good. So, it wasn’t God, but the institutional church that has always emphasized our sinfulness and our unworthiness to the extent that we seem to have forgotten our inherent blessedness. Or, if not the church, then there is societal pressure to be the best, brightest and prettiest which is sure to kill one’s feelings of blessedness. Or perhaps you had parents, teachers, or coaches, who were fond of pointing out your every fault. Considering ourselves blessed is usually not our default setting.

To know we are inherently blessed is to acknowledge our essential goodness, sacredness, uniqueness and beauty.

Personally, I find it easier to feel unworthy. I know all my faults and failings. I know the mistakes I’ve made. I know the shame I feel that I don’t share with anyone. I know when I don’t measure up to my own expectations or others. Life is hard. We get beat down. We are afraid, anxious, insecure. It is absolutely easier to feel like the core of me isn’t good enough.

Henri Nouwen tells a story in his book, Beloved, about a personal experience from his time serving as the priest at L’Arche Daybreak in Toronto, Canada, a home for people with intellectual disabilities. It shows how deeply we want to be blessed, loved, adored, valued as sacred and beautiful.

One day, shortly before Henri began a prayer service in one of their houses, Janet, a disabled member of the community, said to him: “Henri, can you give me a blessing?” Responding automatically, he traced the sign of the cross on her forehead, but she wasn’t satisfied.

“No, that doesn’t work,” she said, “I want a real blessing!” He pretended to understand and said that he would do that when everyone was gathered for the service. Clearly, she wanted something special, but he had no idea what it was.

There were about thirty people gathered in a circle for service that day and Henri began by letting everyone know that Janet had requested a special blessing, that she felt it was something she needed right then. He still didn’t quite know what to do, but Janet seemed to know what she needed. She walked up to Henri, who was dressed in his white priest robes, put her arms around him and her head on his chest. He enveloped her with his arms, folding her up in his robe and said, “Janet, I want you to know that you are God’s beloved daughter. You are precious in God’s sight. Your beautiful smile, your kindness to the people in your house, and all the good things you do show us what a beautiful human being you are. I know you feel a little low these days and that there is some sadness in your heart but I want you to remember who you are: a very special person, deeply loved by God and all the people who are here with you.”

Janet’s smile showed that she had truly heard and received the blessing. When she sat down, another disabled woman, Jane, raised her hand and said she wanted a blessing, too. And then another and another.

One of the unique things about L’Arche communities is that they have non-disabled people who volunteer to live in the homes with the permanent residents and help care for them. After Henri had blessed many of the handicapped residents, something very touching happened. One of the assistants, a 24-year-old student raised his hand and said, “What about me?” So, Henri put his arms around him, too, and spoke words of blessing. “John, it is so good you are here. You are God’s Beloved Son. Your presence is a joy for all of us. When things are hard and life is burdensome, always remember that you are loved with an everlasting love.” As Henri spoke those words, John looked at him with tears in his eyes, then said, “Thank you, thank you very much.”

We all have a deep need to not just know in our heads that we are blessed, but to feel blessed. Every thank you, every smile, every compliment or word of encouragement, every kind word or deed reinforces our feeling of blessedness. It is not just important but essential to our emotional and spiritual well-being to remember that no matter what life throws at us, we are blessed, sacred, beloved… at a deep soul level.

And yet there are so many things that reinforce our feelings of unworthiness: illness, loss, mistakes, regret, bullying, words and actions that are hurtful and blaming, back-biting, gaslighting, negative self-talk and self-image.

The best thing I can suggest to help us remember our blessedness is to be present to ourselves, and attentive to the blessings in the world around us. We’re busy. Our world is busy. We run from one thing to another. And when we stop, we’re too exhausted to be present. But when we pay attention to the the beauty of the autumn leaves, the crispness in the air, the welcome from our dog or cat… we feel blessed. When we look around at the homes we’ve created, the things that have sentimental value, the pictures that remind us of wonderful times, the beauty of the art on our walls… we feel blessed.

When we feel like life is blessing us, it’s easier to make the jump that we, too, are goodness and blessedness incarnate! What comes next is a beautiful thing… when we feel our own blessedness it becomes easy, automatic, and natural to offer blessings to others. We become less critical, more open, more mindful that all people are of sacred worth, all people are blessed by God. And so, we turn around and bless others – the mail carrier, our neighbor, the ambulance passengers that go by, the grocery clerk, a teacher, a friend. It doesn’t take much and certainly doesn’t take anything away from us. In fact, when we bless others, we feel the blessing reflected back on us in a smile, a hug, a thank you, a connection. The more we recognize the blessing in others by blessing them, the more we recognize our own blessedness.

Please know this to be true: your very being is blessed by the Divine. Blessed and a blessing.

Love & Light!

Kaye