Keeping Our Center ~ Day 108

A dear friend reminded me yesterday that healing our inner wounds often begins with forgiveness – of ourselves as well as others. But, here’s the deal: forgiveness has very little to do with anyone else. It doesn’t rely on them asking forgiveness, nor on you saying you’re sorry. The power of forgiveness is found in the brief moments where you’ve truly touched forgiveness and discovered peace within yourself, and you realize you don’t want to give anyone or anything else the power to disrupt that.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting what happened. After all, we want (or need) to learn from our own mistakes as well as from the wrongs others have done to us.  And, we don’t want to set ourselves up to get hurt again. But, healing requires letting go of the anger towards ourselves, or others, so that it stops eating away at us.

Truthfully, forgiveness is one of the messiest things I can think of. We don’t want to feel awful, stuck in hurt, pain and anger. But, we don’t want to let someone else, much less ourselves, off the hook too easily. I think part of us wants to see punishment inflicted, as sad as that sounds. And we’re typically worse on ourselves than on others. I should have known better. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I can’t let it go or it looks like I didn’t care. And on, and on.

I know some days I’m pretty good at forgiveness. But then I can jump right back into anger and hurt, or guilt and shame, when the right button gets pushed. My continual task is keep working on letting go and reclaiming my inherent sacred worth, tarnished though my halo may be.

Let me close with a verse from a favorite song that I often sing to myself:

My mind is willing and my heart is open wide.

I trust my instincts and let spirit be my guide.

I vow to live a life that’s real and true and free

As I continue walking in this mystery.

Love & Light,

Kaye