My quandary about time

So, there’s this concept of “God’s time” that I’ve always sort of struggled with. It’s the idea that things don’t always happen when we want them to happen, but when our deep inner soul and the universe are ready for them to happen. Honestly, I’m thinking that if God really loved me it would be about Kaye’s time, not God’s time. At least that’s what I’m thinking when my tired, whiny 10-year old inner child makes an appearance.

I’ve had enough experiences of God’s time that you’d think I’d be a little more patient about it. For example, I was all set to teach two classes at Carthage, back-to-back, this semester. Then the chair of the department contacted me and said they needed to give one of my classes to someone else, and would I be willing to teach that class at a different time starting after Easter. Well, I wasn’t terribly happy about it and tried to work some different scenarios only to finally resign myself to his original suggestion.  Truth be told, if that hadn’t happened, this semester would have been just awful because the new class I’m teaching is taking up so much time in preparation. Here I tried to force something that would have been against my best interests just to do it Kaye’s way in Kaye’s time.

Holly Whitcomb writes, “There is a rightness about God’s time: a ripeness, a maturation, a waiting that is worth it. It is as if some of the geographic physical, emotional and spiritual pieces have to gestate before coming together. “

It’s always easy to look back and see where waiting was the best thing. The trick is to try to give waiting the benefit of the doubt while we’re in the midst of it. It involves trust and letting go. Perhaps we need to give ourselves permission to wait for “God’s time” instead of forcing our own. I think I’m going to keep working on that.